Today you are one step closer to a new you, where you feel empowered to head down a more a positive path to growth and well-being. Divorce can be complex. I strive to clarify questions clients may have related to the divorce process. Even for couples who were never legally married and are separating, restructuring the family can come with challenges, especially if children are involved. While one cannot change difficult situations of the past, clients can work together with my guidance to create a path that works for the restructuring of their family. I can serve in the role of licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), collaborative divorce coach, child specialist or mediator. I can help clients get to the finish line without wasting time and money. Clients will be able to focus on the end result. My practice is gender and identity inclusive. I embrace cultural and racial diversity. Additionally, divorce or separation can occur at any phase in life. Whether you have been together 1 year or 50+ years, I can be of assistance.
I realize you have options when it comes to divorce. I also realize it may be overwhelming. Here is a simple breakdown on the options for the divorce process in Illinois:
Do It Yourself Divorce Process
Do It Yourself Divorce Process
Pro Se: Each client, on their own, obtains the paperwork from the website in the county where they reside. They file all the paperwork themselves and complete the necessary legal work without the assistance of an attorney. Although pro se clients save money there may be risks involved if the process become overly complicated (asset division, marital agreement, custody, child support, etc.)
Minimal Attorney Assistance: Clients do a lot of the legwork regarding the necessary filings, negotiate amongst themselves, but hire an attorney at some point to help finalize the divorce decree. This can be cost efficient as well, but carries risks if the work done independently needs to be corrected by an attorney.
HERE is a link on how to divorce without children. HERE is a link on how to divorce with children.
The Negotiation/Litigation Divorce Process
The Negotiation/Litigation Divorce Process
Each client retains a litigation attorney. Each attorney advocates for their own client. Clients negotiate back and forth over an extended period of time, perhaps years. In many cases, agreements cannot be reached and a judge makes the final decision for the clients. Often times, clients go back to court post divorce over things they were not happy with. If clients cannot mediate the issue at hand, the case could could to trial. Trials are rare, but if a case ends up it trial, clients will end up paying thousands of dollars for a judge to make the final decision without any guarantee that either party feels the issue was resolved. There is minimal collaboration in this process. Most of the time one person walks away feeling like they "lost" and the other person "won." Long term, it leaves both clients in an adversarial position. This process is lengthy and can be extremely costly.
The Collaborative Divorce Process
The Collaborative Divorce Process
The collaborative process involves an entire divorce team working together. A collaborative divorce includes a neutral mental health professional who has experience in working with families and children. Each client obtains their own collaborative divorce attorney. In some cases a financial neutral is obtained as well to assist with finances. The clients, along with the team of professionals, work together to finalize a divorce in the most cost efficient and collaborative manner possible. The majority of the work in developing a marriage settlement agreement (and joint parenting agreement in cases with children) is done with both clients and the collaborative divorce coach. Common goals are developed to attain a reasonable plan for all individuals involved. Having all your questions answered by a team of professionals helps ensure a smoother process. This process is time and cost efficient depending on the client's willingness to work collaboratively. CLICK HERE for a short video that explains the Collaborative Divorce process.
Clients may ask "What if I am willing to collaborate, but my soon to be ex isn't?". This scenario is not uncommon. If clients are still exploring which process to chose, both clients will be clear on the benefits of the process, and the alternative (litigation) will be explained throughly so clients make an informed decision on which process to choose. Most clients will realize that litigation is the least favorable and most costly option. The role of the collaborative team will be to keep clients focused on the benefits of the collaborative divorce (financial advantages, everything is interest-based, clients maintain control and not the judge...). In very rare cases, clients may withdraw from the collaborative divorce process. Majority of clients are able to complete the divorce in the collaborative process.
Divorce Mediation Process
Divorce Mediation Process
In divorce mediation, a mediator serves as a neutral professional who assists clients in prioritizing the interests of each individual. The goal is to eliminate barriers so that resolution can be reached for the development of a reasonable and mutually accepted divorce plan. Communication between both clients is facilitated by the mediator, and the mediator keeps the process on track to reach resolution in an efficient manner. In mediation, each client retains their own attorney. When using a mediator, there is not a team of professionals working together on the plan. The mediator drafts the plan with both clients, and then the clients bring the drafts back to their individual attorneys for input until a plan is finalized. This process is time and cost efficient depending on the client's willingness to work collaboratively. Mediation can be implemented from start to finish in a divorce. It can also be implemented for particular issues in the divorce process if the case is already in litigation or clients are divorcing on their own. Mediation can be utilized for post-decree issues that need to be re-opened.
Clients may ask "What if I am willing to mediate, but my soon to be ex isn't?". This scenario is not uncommon. If clients are still exploring which process to chose, both clients will be clear on the benefits of mediation, and the alternative (litigation) will be explained throughly so clients make an informed decision on which process to choose. Most clients will realize that litigation is the least favorable and most costly option. The role of the mediator will be to keep clients focused on the benefits of mediation (financial advantages, everything is interest-based, clients maintain control and not the judge...). In very rare cases, clients may withdraw from the mediation process. Majority of clients are able to complete the divorce in the mediation process.
I can assist clients (before, during, and after a divorce or separation) in accomplishing their goals in a cost-efficient and expedient manner. Even if you are in the middle of a litigated divorce, I can be of assistance. Traditionally, negotiation and divorce litigation was the most common way for clients to get divorced. This format entails a long, drawn out, and expensive process that feels like a battle and pins clients against one another in court with a judge having the final say. In recent years, more people have been using alternative dispute resolutions , such as collaborative and mediated divorces, because they are far less costly and lengthy than a litigated divorce. Additionally, in collaborative and mediated divorces, the CLIENTS maintain autonomy in the restructuring of their family. In litigation, it becomes a long, strenuous, mentally exhausting process. I can specifically assist with the collaborative divorce process or with a mediated divorce. For clients who have children, I also offer counseling for youth and adolescents, and can support parents with co-parenting related issues.
If you are thinking about moving towards a new direction in your life or are looking for extra support and guidance, I can help you. I can assist you in figuring out which divorce process is best for you, and if you choose to work with me, I can be at your side along the way. Majority of clients prefer meeting virtually because it saves time by not having to travel, and each client is in the comfort of their own home. If clients prefer to be face-to-face, I offer a private location to meet in Arlington Heights. I look forward to working with you to achieve your goals.
